I got hit by a van this morning.

Nothing serious, but if I wasn’t awake Sorenne would have been crushed in the trailer as we returned from Saturday morning swimming lessons.

The owner of a Chinatown fish market was arrested yesterday for allegedly selling dangerously dirty clams that she smuggled in on the luggage racks of passenger buses, sources told The Post.

I ate some bad food in prison: the worst was saltpeter and horse nuts, some sort of canned stone fruit in a syrupy moss.

Sometimes you’re so drunk, the only thing that makes sense is a Fillet-o-Fish sandwich.

Puke in a Chicago cab and you’re gonna pay.

Starting July 1, any passenger who throws up in — or even on — a taxi has to cough up an extra 50 bucks. The dough, of course, covers cleanup costs.

A Massachusetts man allegedly attacked and robbed a man using sausage links as a weapon.

 Who steals mayonnaise?

Who steals 42 kilos of mayo like it’s liquid cocaine.

Police were today conducting a manhunt for thieves who made off with 42kg of mayonnaise from a business in South Australia.