Wacky And Weird

  • Posted: June 29th, 2012 - 7:21pm by Doug Powell

    I got hit by a van this morning.

    Nothing serious, but if I wasn’t awake Sorenne would have been crushed in the trailer as we returned from Saturday morning swimming lessons.

    Manhattan (Kansas) and Brisbane are both lovely places with lovely people and drivers with the collective alertness of a bag of hammers.

    Stop signs are barely existent and those available are treated as a suggestion. Dude rolled right through the stop sign and into me. 2011 Tour de France winner, Aussie Cadel Evans, famously called Brisbane the worst city for cyclists last year.

    I did my best Brick Top from Snatch after the incident (left, not exactly as shown), screaming, “It’s not as if I’m in-f***ing-conspicuous,” with a big yellow trailer and a six-foot flag.


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  • Posted: June 27th, 2012 - 9:52pm by Doug Powell

    The owner of a Chinatown fish market was arrested yesterday for allegedly selling dangerously dirty clams that she smuggled in on the luggage racks of passenger buses, sources told The Post.

    Jin Hua Ke, 51, faces up to four years in jail if convicted of illegal commercialization of wildlife and other charges.

    Tests showed high levels of fecal matter and other bacteria that made the clams unfit for human consumption, said Department of Environmental Conservation police, who are investigating the clam scam along with Attorney General Eric Schneiderman.

    “Bottom line is this: Would you want to eat something stored in the luggage cart of a bus since at least Philadelphia?” said DEC Officer Brent Wilson.

    Authorities estimate that more than 5,400 pounds of freshwater clams — illegal to import and sell in New York — were trucked from Southern states and delivered to the New Lin Sichuan Fish Market, at 30 Market St., over six months.

    Packaged in burlap, about a dozen packages would arrive on each bus Mondays and Tuesdays, according to local shopkeepers.

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  • Posted: June 27th, 2012 - 8:36pm by Doug Powell

    I ate some bad food in prison: the worst was saltpeter and horse nuts, some sort of canned stone fruit in a syrupy moss.

    And this was at the correctional facility that had its own canning plant to ship the horse nuts off to other patrons and guests of the Ontario government.

    Guess it wasn’t as bad as a former Rikers inmate who is suing New York City for $80 million claiming that the prison food almost killed him. Michael Isolda, who weighed 460 pounds before he underwent gastric bypass surgery, says he was only given four minutes at a time to eat his measly prison meals—because of his surgery, that speed-eating caused him to vomit after every meal and eventually separated his stomach from his intestine. “For me, Rikers Island is a death sentence,” he said in his lawsuit. “It’s not a matter of surviving and worrying about inmates. I have to worry about the food killing me.”


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  • Posted: June 27th, 2012 - 12:54am by Doug Powell


    Sometimes you’re so drunk, the only thing that makes sense is a Fillet-o-Fish sandwich.

    A 21-year-old woman was charged with drunk driving after cops found her passed out in her car at the McDonalds drive-thru in Chatham, Ontario (that’s in Canada), waiting for her fish relief.

    Police said staff reported the woman at about 5:20 a.m. Saturday morning after she placed her order.

    Police said the officer could strongly smell alcohol when he woke the woman up from her hungry slumber behind the wheel.

    She was taken to the station for a breathalyzer test and charged with drunk driving.

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  • Posted: June 26th, 2012 - 4:54am by Doug Powell

    Puke in a Chicago cab and you’re gonna pay.

    Starting July 1, any passenger who throws up in — or even on — a taxi has to cough up an extra 50 bucks. The dough, of course, covers cleanup costs.

    Hacks in the Windy City started lobbying for the fee in 2009 after complaining for years about late-night drunks who barfed with abandon. The City Council finally signed off in January.

    Austin, Texas, followed suit in February, imposing a $100 fine on any fare who loses his lunch. And Savannah, Ga., home of some of the wildest St. Patrick’s Day celebrations in the country, let cabbies tack on $75 to $150 to the tab of any rider who turns green and spews.

    “I had a lady stick her head out of the window and [she] vomited on my cab,” Chicago driver Thaddeus Budzynski told CBS. “And who had to clean it up? I did.”

    The two 23-year-olds who allegedly threw up on police cars in New Jersey may want to keep the fines in mind next time. Or the jail time.

    Peter Cipollini, from Morristown, and Patrick Allocco, from Jersey City, were seen around 3:40 a.m. running away from two police cars at First and Hudson Streets after leaving behind "large amounts of vomit," according to police reports.

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  • Posted: June 20th, 2012 - 5:58pm by Doug Powell

    A Massachusetts man allegedly attacked and robbed a man using sausage links as a weapon.

    Michael A Baker, 22, not only stole jewellery and a bicycle from the victim, police said, but the sausage was stolen from a stand in Brockton, south of Boston.

    A man told police he was riding his bicycle in Brockton at around 8am local time on Sunday when Baker approached him and "started swinging sausage links at him," Brockton Police Lt David Dickinson said.

    The victim, understandably, "had no idea why," according to Dickinson.
    Baker then allegedly tossed the sausage, along with bread and cheese, and switched to a more formidable weapon: a wrench.

    The victim said Baker took a silver chain, a ring and his bicycle, according to The Enterprise News.

    Officers later apprehended Baker on the bicycle with the wrench in his pocket and bloodstains on his clothes.

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  • Posted: June 19th, 2012 - 5:36am by Doug Powell

     Who steals mayonnaise?

    Who steals 42 kilos of mayo like it’s liquid cocaine.

    Police were today conducting a manhunt for thieves who made off with 42kg of mayonnaise from a business in South Australia.

    Two 21kg tubs of the condiment went missing from a refrigerated warehouse in Whyalla, about 382km north of Adelaide on Saturday.

    Police said they were puzzled over why anyone would want to steal 42kg of mayonnaise.

    They urged anyone who heard of people making large quantities of coleslaw or potato salad to notify authorities. 

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  • Posted: June 15th, 2012 - 9:37pm by Doug Powell

    Victoria Jean Harrah sat down around noon Wednesday to eat a freshly grilled ham and cheese sandwich with her fiance when she decided to warm up a plate of her favorite canned ravioli.

    But instead of saucy goodness, the 48-year-old Mims, Fla., woman said she got a crunchy mouthful of what she described as a hairy-legged spider tucked into a pocket of pasta.

    "I spit it up…I screamed, rinsed my mouth out and I must have brushed my teeth till my teeth hurt," said Harrah, who claims to have found the surprise in a can of Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli.

    Harrah is hoping a representative of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration will evaluate the remnants of the meal to determine just what was stuffed in with the meat-filled pasta swimming in tomato sauce.

    Harrah also called ConAgra, the food conglomerate that produces name-brand goods including kosher hot dogs and popcorn, to report chomping on the unappetizing find.

    "They told me it was a figment of my imagination, the woman on the phone said they have people who call all the time and that it was just a piece of meat," Harrah said.

    "But this was a spider. You can see its legs. It's in the middle of the noodle, it's got eyeballs and big hairy legs. Now I love Chef Boyardee, I thought it was the best ever. I would buy 20 cans a week for 30 years. But will I eat it again? Not in this lifetime."

    ConAgra officials say the company is reviewing the woman's claims.


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  • Posted: June 15th, 2012 - 4:26am by Doug Powell

    Park et al. report in the Journal of Paristology the case of oral stings by spermatophores of the squid Todarodes pacificus. A 63-yr-old Korean woman experienced severe pain in her oral cavity immediately after eating a portion of parboiled squid along with its internal organs. She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately. She complained of a pricking and foreign-body sensation in the oral cavity.

    Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa. On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores.

    Penetration of the oral mucosa by parasite-like sperm bags of squid: A case report in a Korean woman, Journal of Parasitology 98(1):222-223. 2012
    Gab-Man Park, Jong-Yun Kim, Jeong-Ho Kim, and Jong-Ki Huh

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  • Posted: June 11th, 2012 - 7:38am by Doug Powell

    Salad stigma persists in Germany.

    A bad salad at a German hotel might have caused the food poisoning that sickened 10 players of European Championship co-host Ukraine before their final warm-up game against Turkey on Tuesday.

    Ukraine team doctor Leonid Mironov believes the weakened players suffered from “the bad effects of eating a salad,” the Interfax news agency reported Thursday.

    Team spokesman Oleksandr Glyvynskiy told The Associated Press there will be no further investigation into the cause of the food poisoning, despite head coach Oleg Blochin suggesting on Ukrainian TV that “it may have been sabotage.”

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